Down to the Last of My Sanity

I knew this process would be taxing, but I never imagined that my sanity would be pummelled into the ground, my patience tested like never before. There is nothing I can do but wait. I have zero control of this situation and that is why I feel insane. Oh you want me to come to your cat party next month? Well, I still don’t know if I’ll be in the country, BUT you know, if I am, then sure…..

I  like to think of myself as meticulously organized (on my best days). But I have been questioning “What and Where Next?” for the past year and more. I don’t need to have the specific details, but I always strived to get the general next steps. Even when I was entertaining the series of  “If” scenarios (“If I go here, I can do X…..”), at least the ball was fixed in my court.

In this case, the visa process is a cruel vortex of emotions, money, and time lost. I have to anxiously await the email that informs me that a decision has been made. I have to wait up to a week (less/more) to open up the package to see if I’ve received the visa or not. It’s go on or try again from there.

I am tired of being in transit. I am tired of hearing consolations of “Well, if you were applying from Country Y, you would’ve had to wait 60 days….” No. I am so tired of waiting.


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